This is the section for everyone. The following are things I believe are important for everyone to know, learn, and/or decide about their new born child:
Infant CPR Class:
What to Expect When You’re Expecting: Book
I'm pretty sure that "saving your kid from killing themselves" is actually a predominate part of the parenting job description. You may not believe it, but as a parent you spend most of your days looking out for harmful situations, and doing your best to protect your children from such environments. I'm not advocating that you become a "hover" parent, but rather that you prepare yourself for any event. Not every situation, no matter how diligent you are, can be predetermined as harmful or not. Why not have the tools accessible to you when/if you need them? I personally needed to save my daughter from a choking episode (no this wasn't just gagging, she really wasn't breathing for over a minute). Had I not known what do to, I would hate to imagine what could have happened. Be prepared to save your children; you don't want to be the parent that "couldn't" because they didn't know what to do. Sorry for the morbid sentiments here...necessary, though, I believe.
Go to the American Red Cross for more support and class listings. Here is the direct link:
Everyone should have this book and you probably already do; however, What to Expect the First Year is also worth the purchase, more so in some ways. More on this topic in later chapters, but I feel it necessary to share an opinion that I've always had regarding these books. I love them, don't get me wrong, but they are sometimes overwhelming and daunting. I remember at times searching for a simple answer on what I should do and the books just didn't seem to satisfy. However, the information is invaluable and necessary. I found that I used them more as a reference than a sit-down read from start to finish. Don't tell dad that because I told him in the next chapter to read it, all of it. Got to give he something to do, you know. Besides, he might read this anyway, if he listened to my later advice to read the rest of this booklet. Hum, did I just slip a test in there to see if your man is paying attention? Well, do with that what you will, mom. Dad, if you are reading this, you're going to be awesome. I can just tell.
What not to Eat when pregnant
As you probably know, some things are not good while pregnant, but equally important are foods to avoid while breastfeeding. Please visit the following website for more information:
Post Partum Depression
Post Partum Depression is prevalent and worth consideration. So, if you feel concerned about your mental well-being at any time after delivery, please seek help with your health care provider. Additionally, if you have a tendency to suffer from depression, please inform you doctor; so, that you both can be aware of the possibility. As another source of support and information, visit the following site: http://www.postpartum.net/
SIDS
Okay, just learn about it...it’s necessary. There are studies to support it. If you are skeptical, that's fine, I suppose. But, why risk it? Nothing suggested in the SIDS documentation is harmful. With that in mind, it couldn't hurt and it could quite possibly save a life. http://www.sids.org/
"Happiest Baby on the Block:" DVD
Dad, if you want to feel really helpful during the night and with comforting your baby, watch this video. It’s good for a couple to agree on how to handle their baby. Matt and I swear by this DVD. There is a book too, but you don't need to read it to learn the technique. My husband, Matt, even converted a couple who didn’t think the five S's worked by swaddling the baby "correctly" and following the other steps. The baby fell deeply asleep in moments for three hours in the middle of the day. The couple couldn’t believe it. Their baby had never done that before either in the night or the day. So, for those of you that actually know my husband that story should be an even bigger endorsement in the techniques. He's not a baby kind of guy.
Sleeping
Sorry that all your stuff is learning, dad. This sleeping thing can be a big deal. So, discuss it as a couple and make an agreement. This might help curtail fights about it later when you're both tired and fed-up. The following are websites that discuss the issues of co-sleeping and the Ferber Method:
Information on sleep training
Baby's second night
No one seems to talk about this, but the first night with your baby is euphoric. You're caught in the journey and glow of meeting your child and learning how to love him; so, the first night flies by without a notice or yawn. But, by the second night, especially if you are breastfeeding, your baby usually has a terrible night. This also normally corresponds with the first night you get back home. So, at 3AM after several hours of baby crying, you're now thinking you won't make it through this ordeal of child rearing. Take a breath. There's good news.
If you are bottle-feeding, my advice is to follow the "Happiest Baby On The Block" suggestions. However, if you are breastfeeding, even those suggestions may not work. The following explains my theory.
The first day your baby's life, it still has a full belly from being fed in the womb. Over the next hours, it begins to lose some of its birth weight. By the by, the hospital will not let you leave if the baby has not gained a particular percentage of the lost weight back; this is why they come in and check your feeding log and the baby's weight every few hours. Anyway, back to the point, by the second night of breastfeeding you are starting to produce milk. All you've been giving the kiddo is colostrum so far, which is wonderful for the baby, but it is not very filling. Now, we finally come to the point: this night might seem the worst because your baby is simply hungry. However, keep it up. You will make it through the second night and the rest to follow.
Baby's first poop
The first time your baby poops, you're torn between, "ahhh, my baby's first poop," and "mmm, this is gross." I landed on the side of gross, but to each his own. Anyway, for the first several movements, your baby is passing the waste from the womb. This stuff is dark to black-ish brown. It has a consistency of tar and is incredibly hard to clean off sensitive little butts. The best thing to do is use a gauze-like pad, which has a little courser surface than your typical baby wipe, and wet it with a little water. Most hospitals supply something like this for you.
Tricks for changing poopy diapers:
First before anything, check the following places for leaks: legs and back. For some reason, leaks rarely happing around the stomach. If you do not see anything on the edge, then you are good to skip the next step. However, if you to see poop sneaking its way out these openings, then be sure to get several wipes and clean these areas before you even bother putting your baby on their changing table. Trust me, once you lay the baby down all the stuff will squeeze out the top of the back and dirty whatever shirt, dress or clothing you have on your little one. Then trying to take that clothing off and not get poop everywhere is really fun. The best way to do this, by the way, is by rolling the clothing up like a rug, as far as you can, so that most of the soiled parts are wrapped up inside like the beans in a burrito (hungry, now?).
Second, before you even take off your baby's diaper do the following things: get, at least, 4 wipes out and lay them next to you for easy access; get the new diaper and open it up, ready to place under the baby's butt (make sure to open the leg flaps all the way; they tend to stick down, and if your baby wares it this way, then the leg guards don't protect against leaks as well).
Third, open the diaper. Next holding your baby's legs together with one hand, slightly lift their bottom up so that you can use the front half of the diaper to do the first wipe around the front and back. Don't make this wipe neat, just use it to get most of the poop out of the way. When the front flap gets to the back of the diaper, then just lay it down on top of the other half. At this point it is kind of like you have a poop taco (gee, you'd think I hated Tex-Mex food or something, but I really love it; I'm a born Texan, after all).
Fourth, now you should be holding your baby's legs slightly up and you use the left out wipes to clean the rest of the remaining poop. When a wipe is dirty and you are ready for a new one, place the dirty one on the diaper taco. When you've finished cleaning, put all the wipes on the diaper and roll it up like a burrito, from the crotch of the diaper to toward the back. Then take the Velcro sticky-things for holding the diaper on the baby and use them to close around the burrito diaper. At this point you should have a nice, neat, poopy diaper ball that you can put aside for a moment.
Five, now you are ready to use the clean diaper. Place the Velcro sticky-things at your baby's back and pull the front around to finish attaching the diaper. The other good thing about having the diaper ready is for your own protection. Newborns tend to pee when you change their diaper, so be aware. If they pee a bunch, then you have a handy, absorbent "cloth" waiting and ready. That's all there is to it, assuming you know to throw the poopy diaper away. Are you worried now?
Side note regarding feet:
Be careful of covered feet on tiled floor. If your baby is just learning to walk, they will slip like crazy and have some pretty nasty falls. My rule of thumb unless it is cold and clothing is necessary: keep the feet bare. Babies learn to walk better when their feet work the same way every time. So, if you are putting them in different cute shoes, or socks, or booties, or full-bodied onesies, then they are going to be constantly confused as to why their feet don't work the same way every time they use them. Here's an exercise to make my point. If you remember the first time you put on high heels, then you already understand. If you haven't tried high heels, then borrow some and my point will be made--ungracefully clear.
Side note regarding poopy clothes:
No one likes to deal with poopy diapers much less poopy clothes, but accidents happen. Sometimes clothes are worth saving and sometimes they are not. However, if you choose to save them, let me offer a tip or two. Do not under any circumstances put the poopy clothes directly into your washer. Trust me on this one, you might get away with doing that once or twice, if the accident is small, but eventually what will happen is worldwide contamination.
Okay, not quite that bad, but you will start to notice that the next few loads of laundry smell differently, and not on the good side. It doesn't matter how much detergent you use, you will just have to run the washer several times to stop the funky smell from spreading into other laundry loads. My advice is to rinse it out in a sink first, and then make sure to clean the sink after.
Baby and sign language
Some people swear by teaching their kids sign language, and I have to admit that I did too. But as I garnered my Masters degree in special education, I became more conscious of the affect sign language might have on vocal development. Here is the logic of the matter, if you give a baby an easy way to communicate, you might see a dramatic decrease in untoward behavior (if your baby has extreme tantrums); however, you might also see a delay in their desire to learn the spoken language because they will default to what they know already works.
Now, I am not saying that if you use sign language your baby will never talk. All I am trying to impart is awareness. Just be aware of consequences. All children are different and because of this they develop differently. The milestones that we all worry about as parents: walking, talking, etc. are just broad, average numbers that set benchmarks for when things are "supposed" to happen. However, my experience suggests that most times things happen when the child is ready for them to happen: like me and my understanding of math, or like a family friend that is currently a brilliant White House doctor who didn't walk until he was two.
In the end, as a mother and an advocate for your child, be aware of the milestones (http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/devmile.htm) and seek advice if you feel something is not right. Don't go bald trying to make your kid meet each step "on time." After all, have you ever known a kid in high school that wasn't potty trained?
ER Plan
Okay, kind of morbid…but kids get sick, and they get sick a bunch, especially if you have them in daycare. So, make a plan on how to handle sick kids. When and how to go to the ER, when you give medicine, whose staying home when they are sick; you get the idea. Also, the following website, offered through the government, might be helpful in a general sort of way. http://www.ready.gov
Afterhours Advice
Find a support network and find it quick. Post the number and information where everyone can see it, then make sure everyone knows where it is too. It never seems to fail that kids get sick in the middle of the night. And you want to avoid a trip to the ER, trust me. Many times a simple question to a doctor can put your mind at ease and prevent such trips. So, speak with your doctor for an afterhours support network.
As another avenue of advice, don't hesitate to call your local pharmacy. They often cost nothing and will offer some needed advise on medicine and care. However, be aware that the advice given is not from a licensed doctor but a pharmacist. So, make sure you base your decisions with that factor in mind.
Baby Play
If you don’t know how to play with a newborn...here’s a website with some suggestions. Additionally, babies usually love mirrors; so, if you can find a safe one to carry with you, it is a fun toy on-the-go.
Burping
Nobody seems to talk about how difficult it is to burp a child. I struggled and struggled with both my children. Both spit-up a bunch because of their nature and because I couldn't seem to get them to burp. So, I learned a few tricks. I have found that the best way to burp is to put their belly against your chest, with their head near your shoulder. Make sure you have a burp cloth over your shoulder. Then pat them on the back starting from their butt to their shoulders (cupping your hand like a spoon), working up as you go. Okay, so here is the part that I found helped me the most (the previous instruction was never enough). Pick up your baby from your shoulder, holding them by the armpits (be sure to brace their head with your fingers, if they are a newborn) and gently bounce them up and down for a few moments, like a bouncy swing. Then return to the original process of patting up the back. I have found that the added bounces in the middle of the burping procedure allow for their body to stretch out and the gas in the stomach to better work its way up. But if you are uncomfortable with following this suggestion, please ask your doctor for advice on burping techniques.
Family and baby
Make sure that you and your husband has agreed on how you want your child treated and raised, then go with it. The next step is to make sure that your extended family is aware of your rules. Plus, grandparents are usually behind on all the new baby rules: sleeping, feeding, etc. So, make sure they know all the new information on safety.
Sucking a snotty nose
As I've mentioned before, babies get sick; and although they don't really have sinus cavities like adults, they still get stuffy noses and coughs. These kinds of illness are tougher, in my opinion, to handle because babies don't know how to purposefully cough or blow their nose. So, it is left to you to help them as best you can, which isn't always worth much. Anyway, there are nose suckers tools that you can buy at any baby store and most grocery stories. However, you want to be careful with the type that you choose. If you take the nasal aspirator that most hospitals give you (also the most common type found), then it looks like a ball with a short soda straw sticking out of one end. These are the worst, as far as I'm concerned, because they do not protect the parent from inserting the "straw" too far up the nose. Inserting higher up the nose than necessary can cause bleeding and further irritation. These kinds are also harder to clean because it is one big plastic piece. There is no effective way to clean the interior of the bulb, which always makes me concerned as to what is growing in their after I've just sucked a bucket load of boogies into it. Anyway, the best I've found is something similar to the Ezy Dose Nasal Aspirator for Infants. It has a clear top that better protects from over insertion and it allows you to see the amount of snot being extracted, which is actually both gross and rewarding (Don't laugh at me, I'm sure you'll feel the same way; just you wait). Then the bulb breaks apart so that you can easily clean both parts.
Now, here is the tough part, getting the baby to tolerate you sucking out their nose. I have found that the best way to do it by myself is on the floor. I put the baby down and pin their arms with the bend of my leg. Then I gently but firmly hold their head with one hand as I use my other hand to do the sucking. I always have the tissues ready for blowing the extracted boogers into; so, that I start with a empty bulb every time I extract. You may have to do this twice for each nostril, but you'll know when you get into the snot of it. Here is the most important part of using the nasal aspirator (perhaps, this advice is obvious but I feel it necessary to mention), be sure to squeeze the bulb before you put it into the baby's nose. You want the suction to pull it out, not push it in. Not to mention that blowing air in to the baby's nose is not good for them or their nasal cavity.
A friend of mine made this suggestion to aid in boogie extraction: "We used salt water, just insert a little with a syringe, and t.he boogers come pouring out. Kind of like when you boogie board in the ocean & then you tilt your head down & water pours out."
A friend of mine made this suggestion to aid in boogie extraction: "We used salt water, just insert a little with a syringe, and t.he boogers come pouring out. Kind of like when you boogie board in the ocean & then you tilt your head down & water pours out."
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