Need to Know

This is my favorite part. Here's where we tell all those little secrets that everyone rarely talks about. The following are my thoughts.

During pregnancy

There are all kinds of pain that no one ever seems to talk about: pelvis, hips, and thighs. These were my worst pains. I remember the pain in my hips waking me up at night. Thank goodness this pain was not around for the second child. I also remember thinking that my insides were going to fall out because the pain in my pelvis had to mean the muscles weren't strong enough to hold all my insides in. You get the drift, lots of strange pain.

           

Also, a word on sleeping, by about the 8th and 9th month, you’re so big and your belly is so heavy that sleeping isn’t comfortable, no matter the number of pillows or positions you try. I actually had to sleep sitting up because the added weight on my chest plus the pressure of the baby made breathing shallow/difficult when lying down.

           

Now a word on sex, have it. It’s okay. I promise. Well, people told us this, but it still kind of freaked us out. So, we had to learn for ourselves, and now I'm telling you. Don’t worry. I can speak from experience; we never once poked the baby in the head and caused brain damage. Sex is actually one of the homeopathic ways of inducing labor. So, go for it. If you feel like it, that is...

After delivery

If you get an epidural, they will make you walk to the bathroom and pee before moving you to a recovery room. I’m telling you now, the peeing is an experience and it's really, really (Yes, I did it again on purpose) gross and disturbing. So, if you have strong sensibilities, then turn away now. Don't read further. Dads keep reading, you can do it.

Ahum, moving on. When you pee, you will be peeing what looks like a bunch of blood. This is normal, but if you feel concerned, ask a nurse to look at it (seriously, they do this as part of their job). You will also pass what they call clots. They are really, really (I've got to find new descriptive words, but you get the point.) gross blobs of blood and mucus; some the size of a small plum. This is normal too, but ask a nurse to look at them just to be sure. You will continue to lose some of these clots even after you go home, but they should be pretty much gone by the time you leave the hospital. However, you will still be bleeding with the flow of a strong period for the next few weeks.

Okay, back to peeing for the first time. As your normal routine goes, (I would assume) when you are done peeing, you wipe and are not shocked by the feel of your nether parts. Well, prepare yourself for this time and don’t freak out. It’s just all swollen and distorted. I told Matt, my husband, about how "the feel" freaked me out. His response was, "as least you didn't see it!" I'm pretty sure, at that moment, he was thinking that he would never have sex with me again. Thank goodness he got over that aversion.

           

Anyway, I remembered this experience from the first child and it still freaked me out with the second. Your “part” will kind of stay swollen for the first few weeks of recovery. Oh, and it’s not comfortable to sit on hard surfaces; so, get thin pads if you can. The “diapers” that the hospital provides with the mesh panties are incredibly irritating.

During recovery

So, if you are pumping and/or breast-feeding, it’s important to mention the pain. Yes, everyone talks about the pain of breast feeding...nipples, nipples, nipples. But if you truck-on-through for the first four weeks (yes, I said 4 weeks, not 2!), it will all start to get better. The biggest part of making breast-feeding work is getting the baby to latch-on right. Basically the more area they take beyond the nipple the less painful. By the way, I like to describe breast-feeding like taking sandpaper to your nipple. I joke that all babies are born with cat tongues. So, dads, if you are curious, give this an experiment. Go ahead, you're tough.

Anyway, the pain most notable for me is not singular; it's the "combo" pain. The combined pain of your uterus contracting, which happens every time you feed your baby for the first few weeks, and the breast-feeding pain. These uterus pains are very similar to the feel of beginning labor pains. At least, that's how I remember them. So, when considering the combo pain, it’s easy to see why some say it’s too painful. But if you can, stick it out. The benefits for your baby are so great, not to mention it helps you lose lots of weight, fast. If you watch what you eat, of course.

Later

Okay, people actually told me this, but it took two kids to believe it. Fevers...oh...fevers. Fevers are OK. I was always so scared of fevers getting dangerously high, to the point of brain damage, but I have been to enough ERs and seen enough doctors that I have learned the rarity of such fevers.  Both my children have had fevers in the high 105s; and although, I went to the ER every time, I was always met with minor concern.

           

Now, I need to make something clear before I continue with this discussion. Fevers for newborn babies are different than slightly older children: 3-6 months and older. Technically, anything over a 100.4 is a fever (taken rectally); however, if a newborn has this level of fever then it is much more meaningful than when a three-month old does. So, if your newborn has a 100.4 or higher, contact your doctor right away or take them to the ER.

           

Okay, back to the topic of fevers for slightly older children. Again, don’t misunderstand me on this point either, fevers can be concerning and should be checked out by a doctor if they get over 104 and stay in that range with fever reducing medication or last for more than 48 hours or if your child has other symptoms like vomiting, diarrhea, etc. But fevers, on their own, are good. They are your body’s system of defeating the bad germs. Essentially your body heats itself up so that the germs die off. Just like cooking meat well done.

In addition, there have been studies that parents who give their children fever reducing medicine (Tylenol or Motrin) to cut off a fever early or bring it down too soon actually prolong the child’s illness (e.g. it lasts 10 days instead of 5). So, the general rule of thumb that I have learned is monitor your child’s fever every half hour to an hour; and if it is in the 102 range and rising from your last measurement, then consider giving fever reducing medicine. But if you can, let your baby sleep, it really is the best medicine. As a final note, there is a common symptom with high fevers that often freak parents out, but is not always harmful; however, you should seek medical care to be sure. Sometimes, accompanying high fevers--104s or higher--children can display seizure like symptoms. Although my children did not display this condition, I am friends with a couple whose little girl did. So, it is common enough to be a concern.

--If you would like to comment with your own nuggets of information, please feel free. However, to make things easier to organize, please title your comment one of the following: During Pregnancy, After Delivery, During Recovery; Later; or Other. I look forward to your thoughts!